Writers’ Voice, Idiosyncrasy and Honesty
Every action has its consequences, hence its is advisable to think hard before doing anything..
Everything I write about here will have direct consequences on my readers and also on myself. Thus, I really need to think deep about what I want to write and the manner in which I need to write them.
It seems almost unavoidable my sentences seem to always begin with I-despite trying to change my sentence structures, the word I keep littering my sentences bringing about that foreboding feeling of being egocentric and narcissistic.
Focusing on the ‘I ‘draws the boundary between the writer, the idea and the readers. The ‘I’ is like a prominent Ara tree on the river bank, the ideas are like the river while the readers are like the passing wind. The ‘I’ can’t be too stoic or else it will be broken by the strong wind. The ‘I’ needs to be malleable enough to allow the wind to travel through its branches and foliage, to explore it yet not to be broken by it. The river of ideas will still be there, but whether or not the wind crosses over and marches towards the Ara tree will depends on the strength, charm and charisma of the Ara tree-the writer.
Ideas, meaning , concepts and interpretation are fluid notions in life. They keep changing and ebbing away with circumstances. A writer’s concept of self though need to be constant and consistent. Good writers are normally able to do that -they have one identity and they stick to it till the end of time. Even if they evolve there’s always this elements of idiosyncrasy in their styles of writing and in their perspectives.
Consistency is not known to be my style. I am a Cancerian (if you believe in zodiac like I do), a water creature and I change like the changing water tide. No matter how hard I try to be consistent, from time to time, there’s always internal psychological demands to keep altering and keep changing my approach to writing, to seeing things and to interpreting and expressing them.
There are ‘professional’ risks in this I am sure due to the fact that no one like to read works from writers with unstable temperament or inconsistent outlook on life. It degrades the possible credibility of a writer or thinker.
But identify-and self concept as a writer , let me tell you, is not easy to sustain especially for someone who is still trying to find the niche in this whole world of writing. I will do my best regardless, to adhere to a slightly stricter definition of consistency and stylistic integrity in my writing. I wouldn’t want to be perceived as a writer with a bad self-image.
Self Image -as a person, as a professional and as a writer. Out there, I am sure there are many people with really healthy self-image that they never question their own identities. I however have some problem with self-image due my personality and the transitory situation I am in now. There are times I feel I have it all in my personal life and also in my career and I should not seek any further. However, there are also times I tend to analyze life too much and I begin to see the shortcomings and weaknesses that I felt needed to be tackled or fixed.
Earlier, I came across some pictures on the web and one particular picture grabbed my attention. It was the picture of the famed Cat Lade Miss Jocelyn Wilderstein. Many of us are familiar with this name due to the extensive media coverage on the life of this person in the past.
So, as I read more about this lady, it occurred to me that all this lady wanted was a sense of security, affirmation, love and a sense of consistency in life. But then what she did to achieve that was just beyond me. But, in my heart, what really bothers me is that the realization of the fact that sometimes unknowingly we often try very hard to please other people around us. We try very hard to please people in our private social circles, people in our profession, writing critics and readers. Sometimes we work hard battling off competition, imposed conditions and conflicting stances on things that we lose our true sense of self.
The more we want to fit in, to conform or to adhere, we strip layer by layer of our real self. Sometimes we hide, sometimes we run, sometimes we give, sometimes we take, sometime we lie, sometimes we expose the truth, sometimes we manipulate the truth, sometimes we exagerate, sometimes we conceal the truths and in the end we no longer know what’s the truth and who we really are.
A columnist I knew once told me that in the past he used to care so much about the way people think of his columns. Nowadays however, according to him, quoting his exact line ”I don’t care anymore. I am real in my writing, with my warts and all”. Well, he’s a retired corporate lawyer so I guess he can afford not to care too much.
As for me I think I will keep to being the real me in and through my writings, no matter how dull that might can be.Some people might not agree with the way I look at things, that is understandable. I do not want to make people feel as if I am imposing my ideas and values on them. It would bring more satisfaction to know that my readers do understand that I am here merely to share my thoughts, observations and reflections on my experience in the world of teaching .
Image courtesy of yahooimages
I wish for my readers to picture me as a teacher busily working in her garden, erecting the white fences around the beds of flowers and planting more orchids, roses and frangipani on the compound of the garden and to see themselves as passers by who can either jump over the fences to pluck some flowers or just wave a cordial greeting before resuming the leisurely stroll along to the other garden
